I woke up grumpy this morning.
To people in my circle of trust this may not be the statement of the year and I already hear them saying: "so?".
Well this morning I woke up extra grumpy and I'll tell you why. I got into bed last night after the soccer (well done Brazil!) and was really looking forward to a good night of slumber as I was really bushed, I think it was because I didn't partake of my Sunday siesta and had a fairly busy day. Anyway I was tired and got into bed where I peacefully drifted off to sleep. However not for long.
Now before I can carry on I need to fill you in on some background info. I have become the adoptive father to two cats, one is grey and the other is black. The grey one loves to run around so we'll call her Trollip and the black one is a little over weight so we'll call her Boat. Now I have become very fond of Trollip and Boat over the years even though I'm not really a cat person. But they are also the cause of me grumpiness.
You see Trollip and Boat wait for you to get into bed and fall asleep and then they jump on the bed and quietly, in U.S. marine like stealth mode, attach themselves to you. For instance if I fall asleep on my back Trollip will fall asleep on my feet and Boat will fall asleep on my chest. Have you ever tried to sleep with a 4 kg cat on your chest? The problem is not falling asleep as you already asleep when they attach themselves. The problem is trying to turn around in your sleep. As soon as you try your body brings you out of your delightful little slumber in order to find out what the resistance is to you turning on your side.
So you wake up and try and move Boat off your chest. But this is easier typed than done. You see by now Boat is sleeping and warm so she's not going anywhere. You at first try to gently nudge her off, but she just ignores you. You then try with a little more force and not only does she ignore you but I can actually feel herself making her body weight heavier. Eventually after nearly catapulting her off the bed she gets the hint and moves off your chest allowing you to turn.
And she waits.
As soon as I've have fallen asleep on my side, Boat maneuvers in and positions herself up against my chest, while Trollip has positioned herself up against the back of my knees in effect pinning me in that position so again I cannot naturally turn or move in my sleep. And so a hour or two later I am again brought out of peaceful slumber to try and unpin myself from the clutches of Boat and Trollip, who have the determination of two tag team wrestlers. Again they defy all gentle attempts at their removal. And so eventually they get the hint and I roll onto my tummy, and you guessed it, a few minutes later Boat is getting comfy on my back while I'm trying to fall alseep.
This goes on the whole night.
All while my fiance is peacefully sleeping completely unaware of the feline assault I was under. So after being awoken 4 to 5 times last night, I eventually got out of bed this morning grumpy.
Not this is a a recent habit that Trollip and Boat have gotten into, oh no, this is something that has gone on for weeks, so in effect I can count the number of good night's sleep I've had since the beginning of winter on my hand.
Now Debs thinks this is amusing and endearing, telling me how they are looking for warmth and their daddy.
Rubbish! I obviously did something to the feline species in my past life and now I'm paying for it.
And so it's happened, I must be one of the few men in this world that have been relegated to the couch by two cats.
But I don't care.
If it means that for a good nights sleep I have to sleep on the couch then so be it.
Plus I read somewhere that men actually like sleeping on the couch. It's like camping.
To people in my circle of trust this may not be the statement of the year and I already hear them saying: "so?".
Well this morning I woke up extra grumpy and I'll tell you why. I got into bed last night after the soccer (well done Brazil!) and was really looking forward to a good night of slumber as I was really bushed, I think it was because I didn't partake of my Sunday siesta and had a fairly busy day. Anyway I was tired and got into bed where I peacefully drifted off to sleep. However not for long.
Now before I can carry on I need to fill you in on some background info. I have become the adoptive father to two cats, one is grey and the other is black. The grey one loves to run around so we'll call her Trollip and the black one is a little over weight so we'll call her Boat. Now I have become very fond of Trollip and Boat over the years even though I'm not really a cat person. But they are also the cause of me grumpiness.
You see Trollip and Boat wait for you to get into bed and fall asleep and then they jump on the bed and quietly, in U.S. marine like stealth mode, attach themselves to you. For instance if I fall asleep on my back Trollip will fall asleep on my feet and Boat will fall asleep on my chest. Have you ever tried to sleep with a 4 kg cat on your chest? The problem is not falling asleep as you already asleep when they attach themselves. The problem is trying to turn around in your sleep. As soon as you try your body brings you out of your delightful little slumber in order to find out what the resistance is to you turning on your side.
So you wake up and try and move Boat off your chest. But this is easier typed than done. You see by now Boat is sleeping and warm so she's not going anywhere. You at first try to gently nudge her off, but she just ignores you. You then try with a little more force and not only does she ignore you but I can actually feel herself making her body weight heavier. Eventually after nearly catapulting her off the bed she gets the hint and moves off your chest allowing you to turn.
And she waits.
As soon as I've have fallen asleep on my side, Boat maneuvers in and positions herself up against my chest, while Trollip has positioned herself up against the back of my knees in effect pinning me in that position so again I cannot naturally turn or move in my sleep. And so a hour or two later I am again brought out of peaceful slumber to try and unpin myself from the clutches of Boat and Trollip, who have the determination of two tag team wrestlers. Again they defy all gentle attempts at their removal. And so eventually they get the hint and I roll onto my tummy, and you guessed it, a few minutes later Boat is getting comfy on my back while I'm trying to fall alseep.
This goes on the whole night.
All while my fiance is peacefully sleeping completely unaware of the feline assault I was under. So after being awoken 4 to 5 times last night, I eventually got out of bed this morning grumpy.
Not this is a a recent habit that Trollip and Boat have gotten into, oh no, this is something that has gone on for weeks, so in effect I can count the number of good night's sleep I've had since the beginning of winter on my hand.
Now Debs thinks this is amusing and endearing, telling me how they are looking for warmth and their daddy.
Rubbish! I obviously did something to the feline species in my past life and now I'm paying for it.
And so it's happened, I must be one of the few men in this world that have been relegated to the couch by two cats.
But I don't care.
If it means that for a good nights sleep I have to sleep on the couch then so be it.
Plus I read somewhere that men actually like sleeping on the couch. It's like camping.
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