I'm still alive.... Barely!

Well its finally come and gone and I have only one thing to say: "Ouch!"

I sit here writing this with a jug of water and a box of Milk Thistle tablets next to me.

If there's ever been a reason not to marry more than once, it has to be the bachelor party. It all started off ever so famously. My best man picked me up at 08:30 on Saturday morning and even though the venue for the festivities was suppose to be a surprise, I knew we were going to Sun City. Until, that is, we started driving in completely the wrong direction.

But alas we were going to Sun City. We just weren't going by car. So 20 mins later I was standing in the departure hall of Grand Central Airport waiting to walk out to our Bell 407 Helicopter which was waiting on the runway. Needless to say this was the same helicopter that flew our president around during the elections.

All I can say is I have put a helicopter on my Christmas wishlist. I even did some flying and I was told by the pilot I'm a natural. I think he was just being nice though.

After a brisk 30 min flight we landed at Sun City and after some breakfast we met up with the rest of the bachelor party to watch SA beat AUS in the rugby. But you have to wear the proper attire to watch the rugby and so I was ordered into some cute black lingerie, a red sparkly stetson hat and some green speckled g-string contraption over my nether region and that is how I spent most of the weekend. I can honestly say I looked pretty.

That was until I was mugged by an Acacia tree. I was still pulling thorns out my arm and other areas of my body4 hours later. Damn tree! I never knew they moved so quickly.

Oh did I mention I stayed in the presidential suite at the Cascades. It's the only place I've been to with telephones next to the toilet. It adds a whole new perspective on ordering room service.

Needless to say between Saturday and Monday I consumed enough alcohol to keep Ireland going for a week. I did however lose all my chest hair, my eyebrows however stayed intact. Even though at about 10pm on Saturday night they were on the endangered list. And if my mates hadn't used all the razor blades on my chest I think they would be extinct today.

Apparently I'm the only person to swim in the lake around the Cascades restaurant in a red stetson hat and black lingerie. I'm just wondering how the parents explained the sight of a inebriated man with no chest hair and a hat swimming in the black water of the Cascade hotel to their kids as they walked past. I did however manage to get out the water before Security was called.

I'm still very stiff and have some very interesting bruises which I'm trying to remember how they got there.

And so it has taken me two days to recover and I'm still feeling very tender. I hope never to drink again. I know you've heard that one before but really I dont think I can ever drink again. Ever.

p.s. I apologise for any spelling mistakes. I have tried to locate them all but I still don't trust myself.

Prescription Meds

Well it's a new week and my flu has now nicely settled in. Exactly four days before my bachelor's party. Determined not to be sick on Saturday I went to the Doc yesterday afternoon with one simple instruction: "Make me better. Quickly." Needless to say she has prescribed enough medication to treat most of the people living in sub Sahara Africa. I'll be surprised if I ever get sick again after I finish the course of meds she's got me on.

As it is I'm not the biggest pill popper in the world, in fact I would rather cough and sneeze myself to a gradual recovery than take pharmaceuticals, however as time is of the essence I have resorted to a daily dose of pills which for the next four days take the place of dinner.

Change of subject, I have slowly begun following more and more blogs as time has passed and especially since starting my own. I do this for a few reasons, but mainly for inspiration, as a good few bloggers that I follow have become authors of their own books, which often follow the theme of their blogs. Not that I want to publish a book. Ok maybe one day, but I follow them more for their style of writing and as mentioned for inspiration.

Once such blog I came across recently is entitled Bete de Jour which is a blogger's recording of his day to day life as a ugly man and ultimately his search for love whilst fighting his feelings of inadequacy. Not only is this a funny journey, but also superbly written and very entertaining.

Anyhow looking forward to getting through this week and regaining my health for what I'm sure will be a very interesting weekend.

It's finally happened

Well it's finally happened. I've put it off for nearly a year, proudly fighting it every singe day, smug in the knowledge that I was winning, until today.

Yip it feels like I'm getting flu.

Now before you panic and start jumping to illogical conclusions about my recent travels and the possibility of swine flu, let me ease your mind that overall I feel strong like bull except that right at the back of my throat it feels like there's a little piece of sandpaper that's rubbing against my esophagus. and so I arrived at this office this morning armed with a new tub of Viral Choice (which I swear by, Debs however thinks the only thing they good for is heartburn) and some of those throat lozenges sweets that make your tongue go numb. Which is not a bad thing, except in meetings where the phrase 'tongue tied' takes on a whole new meaning.

I digress, anyway I'm hoping that armed with my vitamins and lozenges I will fight this bug and win. I have to win. At all costs. Why?

Because I have a bachelor party coming up folks and I can't be running around with a box of tissues on my bachelors.

Can you imagine the story:"No there was no strippers or alcohol, but don't worry the abundant supply of Vicks vapour rub made up for it." I don't think so.

To drive to drunk

It's not often that I blog two days in a row, however I had to share this with you.

Last night on my way home from the office, I noticed a green Japanese car in the left lane that was driving a little peculiar. As soon as the robot would turn green this little green machine would crawl off the mark before violently accelerating and then suddenly braking in order to avoid rear ending the car in front.

At first I thought this must be a hormonal young male intent on displaying his bravado in trying to out accelerate all other cars or he was trying to keep up with someone he was following. Then I stopped next to him and saw the real reason for this erratic driving.

Next to me was a white male, approximately early thirties, wearing a jersey that his grandmother must have knitted, sitting in this small green car and he was completely and utterly smashed. He was so drunk that he had a cigarette in his mouth, except he was trying to light the filter, which he eventually got alight, however it took him awhile before realising the whole smoking thing wasn't working and there was a problem. He then proceeded to try and throw the cigarette out the window, except the window was closed.

As the robot changed I drove off and stayed ahead of this gentlemen however keeping an eye on him in the rear view mirror, and I was amazed that despite his swerving across the entire two lane road he never hit another car or payment. When I stopped next to him at the next robot he looked at me, sorry, he tried to focus on me, however after about 15 seconds gave up and shook his head to try and keep awake.

The robot changed and off I drove and eventually he pulled off and the last time I saw him was when I think he collided with a taxi that suddenly stopped in his lane.

Now despite the humour in observing this person it really gets my back up that there are people that try and control a motor vehicle in such a state. Especially in South Africa where we are known for our high mortality rate on our roads.

I know many of us, including myself, have been guilty of driving under the influence, maybe though not to the extent of this gentleman but it still is a common pastime in this country.

Thankfully our law enforcement is starting to catch up with this trend and hopefully we can start seeing a great reduction in the number of casualties and injuries on our roads due to this plague.

Back to reality

Well its been a good few weeks since my last entry and having a look at a few of the other blogs I follow, it seems that my fellow bloggers are also struggling to keep up with regular postings. It may be the cold weather that freezes our creative juices, or it may just be a case of our lives consuming us to the point whereby we don't have time to sit down and post about the experiences in our daily lives.

As I previously mentioned I was off to Monaco and returned on Saturday. "What was it like?" I hear you ask, well I'm not too sure where to begin suffice to say that one blog entry will not do my trip any justice.

Firstly everything you imagine Monaco to be is true. Yes it is unlike any place you will visit and it is everything you see on TV when watching the Monaco GP. I'm not sure if it's because I went in their peak season (August in Europe is their summer holidays) or because I was just loving the perfect summer weather but it really is the place of dreams. It has to be one of the cleanest cities I've visited and also the richest. It truly is the playground of the rich and famous. You see so many yachts and sports cars that after a few days you don't even turn around when another Ferrari drives up the street.

We not only went to Monaco but travelled to various little villages throughout the south of France and the north of Italy, all of them rich in history to the point that time has hardly touched them.

I'm hoping that as I recall my experiences that each one will be a blog subject in its own so that I can try and share these places with you.

but alas I'm now back in reality and back in the office trying to catchup the last week and going into the final stretch of wedding plans. Needless to say the next month will probably be the busiest and quickest I have yet to experience.

Problem Solver

Well its been long time since my last post, and I'm going to admit that I'm struggling to get into the whole routine of regular posting. I've kinda got into a routine of putting cream on regularly, and that's a big first for me, so I'm hoping the blogging thing will follow suit.

So what's been happening in my life you ask? Well not much actually. I hit a slump at work recently, but if you did what I did, you would to. Don't get me wrong I love my job, I just get tired sometimes with sorting out peoples' problems. Because that's ultimately what an attorney is, a problem solver. You don't phone up an attorney and pay them by the hour if you didn't have a problem.

However there are client's that can't distinguish between a problem solver and a magician.

A problem solver is someone that looks at the problem objectively and plots out a plan to remedy the problem and implements that plan. That's me.

A magician is someone you get to perform at your kid's party. That's not me.
Even though some client's think I'm a magician, I'm actually not. So please don't phone and try and book me for any kids parties.

Despite the above distinction client's think I possess some magical qualities and will just make their problem disappear into a hat, leaving them with a fluffy bunny and my bill.

And what makes this observation even more obscure is that by the time they phone me to tell me about their problem they have managed to get themselves so deep into the brown stuff that the only way they getting out is with the use of heavy machinery, no matter how many letters I write.

Anyway enough bitching, even though this is my blog and I'm allowed to bitch.

If you know me and you want to make plans over 6 - 14 August, please don't. I will be in Monaco over this period and consequently unavailable. Yes you read correctly, Monaco, as in Monaco GP, fuck off rich people and lots of yachts.

My Monaco trip was conceptualised, planned and executed in three hours. I haven't even planned a trip to Harties in three hours, but planning for trip to Monaco went something like this:

D: I have a client who has invited us to Monaco for the long weekend, what do you think?

M: I think that's pretty wild. What do you think?

D: I think we should go, what do you think?

M: I think so too. I'll check flights.

And so flights were booked and off we go.

Parlevoux Francais? (I know it's spelt wrong, I'm not french)

Here Kitty,Kitty, Kitty

I woke up grumpy this morning.

To people in my circle of trust this may not be the statement of the year and I already hear them saying: "so?".

Well this morning I woke up extra grumpy and I'll tell you why. I got into bed last night after the soccer (well done Brazil!) and was really looking forward to a good night of slumber as I was really bushed, I think it was because I didn't partake of my Sunday siesta and had a fairly busy day. Anyway I was tired and got into bed where I peacefully drifted off to sleep. However not for long.

Now before I can carry on I need to fill you in on some background info. I have become the adoptive father to two cats, one is grey and the other is black. The grey one loves to run around so we'll call her Trollip and the black one is a little over weight so we'll call her Boat. Now I have become very fond of Trollip and Boat over the years even though I'm not really a cat person. But they are also the cause of me grumpiness.

You see Trollip and Boat wait for you to get into bed and fall asleep and then they jump on the bed and quietly, in U.S. marine like stealth mode, attach themselves to you. For instance if I fall asleep on my back Trollip will fall asleep on my feet and Boat will fall asleep on my chest. Have you ever tried to sleep with a 4 kg cat on your chest? The problem is not falling asleep as you already asleep when they attach themselves. The problem is trying to turn around in your sleep. As soon as you try your body brings you out of your delightful little slumber in order to find out what the resistance is to you turning on your side.

So you wake up and try and move Boat off your chest. But this is easier typed than done. You see by now Boat is sleeping and warm so she's not going anywhere. You at first try to gently nudge her off, but she just ignores you. You then try with a little more force and not only does she ignore you but I can actually feel herself making her body weight heavier. Eventually after nearly catapulting her off the bed she gets the hint and moves off your chest allowing you to turn.

And she waits.

As soon as I've have fallen asleep on my side, Boat maneuvers in and positions herself up against my chest, while Trollip has positioned herself up against the back of my knees in effect pinning me in that position so again I cannot naturally turn or move in my sleep. And so a hour or two later I am again brought out of peaceful slumber to try and unpin myself from the clutches of Boat and Trollip, who have the determination of two tag team wrestlers. Again they defy all gentle attempts at their removal. And so eventually they get the hint and I roll onto my tummy, and you guessed it, a few minutes later Boat is getting comfy on my back while I'm trying to fall alseep.

This goes on the whole night.

All while my fiance is peacefully sleeping completely unaware of the feline assault I was under. So after being awoken 4 to 5 times last night, I eventually got out of bed this morning grumpy.

Not this is a a recent habit that Trollip and Boat have gotten into, oh no, this is something that has gone on for weeks, so in effect I can count the number of good night's sleep I've had since the beginning of winter on my hand.

Now Debs thinks this is amusing and endearing, telling me how they are looking for warmth and their daddy.

Rubbish! I obviously did something to the feline species in my past life and now I'm paying for it.

And so it's happened, I must be one of the few men in this world that have been relegated to the couch by two cats.

But I don't care.

If it means that for a good nights sleep I have to sleep on the couch then so be it.

Plus I read somewhere that men actually like sleeping on the couch. It's like camping.

Are Fridays supposed to be this hectic?

Wow, really didn't expect today to start off the way it did. Yesterday afternoon I was looking forward to a Friday where everyone would be slightly hungover due to the celebrations last night of Bafan Bafana's win. Alas that never happened even though our boys in green and gold did us proud.

Then of course there's the tragic news of the passing of Michael Jackson that was on the radio as I rather abruptly slid into consciousness this morning. Now I know that I'm not the first person to write about this and probably won't be the last but it's always a sad time when you lose any person, especially an icon. I won't go on about his life, as unless you've been living under a rock in deepest Russia for the last twenty years you know all about MJ, suffice to say I immedately thought about my mom buying me a copy of his 'Bad' album on tape and jamming to it in my giraffe jarmies at the tender age of 6 or 7. Rest In Peach Michael.

Further bad news followed in that I heard about the passing of Farrah Fawcett. Now I admit that Farrah was a little ahead of my time so I don't know too much about her, except she looked hot in a bikini in her hay day. Anyway I'm sure she's in a better place and I'm sure her family are glad that she's finally over her suffering. Rest In Peace Farrah.

Anyway life must go on and those that have pass will always live on in the memories of others.

3 months left and counting....

Well I have exactly three months left of carrying the title 'unmarried'. On the 23 September I tie the knot with the love of my life.

Now before you say that I'm getting all mushy, you must understand that getting married is a big step for me. Not that it isn't a big step for other people but subjectively it's a big step for me. I can still remember the time in the not to distant past where I used to openly boast to my friends that I would never get hitched, and here I am, wedding preperations are coming down the home straight, and I'm getting ready to spend my life with one person.

Now firstly for those of you that have never been married, I need to tell you about the joys of wedding preparations. I don't think anyone can give you enough info on how to properly prepare for your wedding as it is a rollercoaster ride filled with stress, relief and a good dose of nerves. I must say that I've been fortunate enough that Debs has handled most of the preparations and she has been a superstar in this area. I always said that if it was all left to me we would be getting married in jeans and a t-shirt in front of a magistrate.

Wedding preparations aside, I also had to wrap my head around the whole idea of getting married. You see I never grew up in a household where my mother and father were married, and ultimately I only grew up with my mom, so from a young age the whole spending your life with another person concept was unique to me. Even in my varsity days when I started dating I would drift in and out of relationships without any cause of concern, so it's been a big step for me to get my mind and attitude right for this next chapter of my life.

I think the turning point for me was to just sometimes go with the flow and not be so concerned with knowing how something will end up. You don't always have to know how your future will end up and I suppose that's one of the exciting joys of living life.

Ok, enough with the deep and mushy stuff, I have a bachelor party to look forward to.

Apparently it will take place over an entire weekend, yay!

The World Champions are Here!!!

It's been two weeks since my last blog and I wish I could lay the blame on procrastination but alas I only have work to blame and the two busiest weeks I've had in a long time.

To give you an idea, my job normally entails me sitting in an office, behind my laptop where I'm either typing or dictating. I don't really drive around, however in the first 5 days of June I managed to drive approx 2000 km's. That an average of approx 400 km's a day. Needless to say when I did get back to the office I was playing a serious game of catch-up, a game I'm still playing at the moment. And losing.

Anyway we all busy in our own way and I'm sure there are many of you who can relate.

During my travels I came up with alot of topic ideas to blog about, which hopefully will materialise on my blog in the coming days.

An interesting place I visited last week for one of my matters was the bustling metropolis of Phalaborwa, which is 5 mins outside of the Kruger Park. Now I cant remember the last time I went to the Kruger Park, and I'm sure it was back in the 80's, so going back to that part of our country was really an eye opener.

That part of Limpopo is truly beautiful and just driving through Magoebaskloof brought back memories of the hiking I used to do through the sappi plantations, it was like being in rain forest. Phalaborwa is interesting in its own right, it's like a little city time forgot about, and I had to appear in the Magistrates Court, which was completely foreign to me, as I'm only used to the major Courts in Jhb. Anyway it was a interesting trip and I hope to spend more time there when I go back in July.

The other interesting event this week was I went to my first international soccer match. It was the friendly game between Italy and New Zealand, on Wednesday night. The game was held at Attridgeville Stadium. When I first heard that we would be going to Attridgeville I immediately had images of the uprisings and problems that occurred there in the past and I was completely hesitant about going, but when we got there I was pleasantly surprised. The streets were spotless, the neighbourhood quiet and all the houses neat. I felt very embarrassed for being so ignorant. Now don't get me wrong I'm sure there are many townships around our country that are dangerous and dirty but I think the lesson I took away is don't judge a town without a visit.

As for the soccer game it was a thrilling game, with Italy winning 4-3 but I was impressed with New Zealand, who are currently ranked 82 in the world, to fight off the current world champions till the final minutes of the game. I would have probably enjoyed the soccer more if I wasn't sitting in the rain under an umbrella and not being able to feel my legs due to the cold, but being an Azzurri fan means you take the good with the bad.

On the subject of the Azzurri I was also fortunate enough to attend a reception at the Italian Ambassador's house last night where Debs and I met the entire Italian soccer team. It was like being a school boy and seeing your heroes walk through the door. I got some pictures with a few players, which I'll put up when I get a chance, and Debs was in her element meeting Fabio Cannavaro, the captain, who according to Debs is "...one of the hottest soccer players to play the game...". Personally I didn't think he was that spectacular but I was assigned camera duty nevertheless and took a pic of Debs and Cannavaro, which I'm sure will be made into our Christmas card for family and friends.

As for the weekend I'm going to attempt to take it easy and get some couch time in. I'm also looking forward to the Confed Cup kicking off on Sunday and I hope Bafana Bafana can continue their winning streak. I'll definitely be getting the Vuvuzela out for the kickoff.

Soccer Excitement

I've been running around this morning, and along my travels I happened to drive past Soccer City in Crown Mines, and actually had to slow down and really take the stadium in.

Most people know that Soccer City is going to host the Johannesburg leg of the world cup, and most people have seen it on the telli, but it's just mind blowing seeing it in real life.

It's calabash design is spectacular and driving past this morning really instilled a sense of pride in our Country. It going to be the 6th largest stadium in the world and will hold around 90 000 spectators. Very cool.

Often we surrounded by alot of negativity about our country and it gets people down, including me, however seeing something like this just shows that in some areas of life we are getting things right, and hopefully this will rub off on the other areas that are struggling a little.

As it's Friday I won't get all deep and mushy, however if you do drive past the stadium slow down a little or even stop and really take it in, it's amazing. Click here for more info on the stadium.

As for my plans for the weekend, nothing special is planned. I hear it might be a little chilly this weekend, so I think I'll use our fireplace for the first time, with a glass of wine and a good movie. And of course I believe there's a rugby game to watch.

Go Bulls!

Until Monday, enjoy the weekend.

Introduction

I've always been fascinated with the whole concept of blogging and the idea that through posting your thoughts and happenings online for the whole world to read, and in turn you reading other people's blogs, the concept of globalisation and the world getting smaller and more connected really starts to dawn on me.

I've been playing around with the idea of starting my own blog for some time now and have always put it off due to either a busy work day or just pure procrastination which, as you will learn about me in later posts, I'm very good at. In fact if procrastination was an Olympic sport I would definitely be part of a national team and would've won a few medals by now.

A few months back however I was introduced to some friends' blogs and have followed their adventures quite closely since that introduction and after a while I felt very selfish as I was reading other people's happenings without ever letting them read mine, and so this is how my blog was born.

As to a little abit of info on who I am, I'm a born and bred Joburg boy. I love the city, the energy, the people, and everything else that goes with it. By profession I'm an attorney, hence the title of my blog, and I love what I do. Most of the time.

I'm currently engaged to the most amazing woman and I'm finally making the final plans on settling down and starting a new chapter of my life.

Well this is my first post of hopefully many and I will try my sincerest not to let the procrastination thing interfere with my posting.